Pages

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

I Really Remember

Image result for tree png cartoonTuesday 7th February

I Remember...

Laying in the grass under the shelter of an oak tree.
The fat leaves of the oak tree tickled my face.
I looked up to see the candy floss  shaped clouds; they looked like they were swaying to the beat of the wind.
My cat came up and sat on my chest ,she was warm but  her eyes were wild.
I brushed a tiny ant off my face; its little  feet clambering onto my hand.
I put my hand  on the grass and it scampered off.
That was my summer.

I was learning to  write a piece of descriptive writing and to notice how the structure works.I had to use a lot of adjectives and similes to make it exciting. The first line was what you are doing , the second line was some descriptive writing based on what you were doing   and the last part was  that was my  summer. I think I put lots of descriptive words. What I could do better next time is use  more similes.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Tessa I am Rangimarie from Tautoro school. I really like your descriptive writing and like how you used the smart learner frame. What you could work on next time is making your sentence make sense and checking your punctuation. Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kia Ora Tessa my name is Tai Panmure bridge school. What you have done is a good descriptive story about what you have done in summer. Maybe next time you could add more words to it so it could be more interesting. But besides that you done a fantastic job well done.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kia ora Tessa my names Tai and Im from Panmure Bridge School. What you have done is a fantastic descriptive story you have done. Maybe next time you could put more words into so it could be more interesting

    ReplyDelete